About When Hell Freezes Over (W.H.F.O.)…

Sit back and relax with your eyes closed.  Count backwards from 10 while focusing on the color lavender.  10, 9, 8…  Are you comfortable?  Relaxed?  Good.  Now, what do you remember being in your freezer when you were young?  Ice cream?  Oh, that’s nice.  What else?  Ice cubes.  Good.  Frozen orange juice concentrate?  Wonderful.  Wasn’t that just a delight to lick?  Better than a Push-Up, right?  Hey, wake up for a minute.  Oh, here, I snapped my fingers, now wake up from your happy little ice cream dream.  You know what I had in my freezer?  Unwashed wool from freshly shorn sheep.  Unlabeled margarine tubs that did NOT contain margarine.  Salmon eggs.  Glow sticks from Great America.  Soups of indeterminate origin and carbon dating.  Red chili flakes.  Hot dog buns from a 1976 Bicentennial cook-out.  Sweaters.  Poultry carcasses.  And that was the UPSTAIRS freezer.

When Hell Freezes Over (W.H.F.O.) is a periodic contest to guess the contents of an unidentifiable freezer find.  You are encouraged to submit pictures from your own frozen expeditions* and the fellow reader** who comes closest to properly identifying the find will win a special W.H.F.O. prize package consisting of a W.H.F.O. Certificate and an ice pick.  The corresponding owner of the winning submission will also receive a prize package.  Essentially, the rules are the same as the Bozo Circus’ “Grand Prize Game” at-home player rules.  So, open up that freezer and send us what you’ve got!  I may seem as though I have seen it all, but I want you to prove me wrong.

*RULES:  SUBMISSIONS:  W.H.F.O. Submissions must be photos from your own freezer or the freezer of a consenting friend or family member.  Commercial freezers and work freezers are also eligible with consent or your employer and/or co-workers.  Two (2) pictures must be submitted:  (1) The frozen item in its original, found state, and (2) The frozen item defrosted and identifiable (or as identifiable as it is going to get), along with a brief identification of the item, your name and e-mail address.  This information should be sent to farewelltypewriter@yahoo.com.  You will be notified as to the date that your frozen find (or fiend) will be posted.  If you are the lucky at-home winner, I will contact you to obtain your mailing address information to which your prize will be sent.  Good luck!

**RULES:  READER GUESSES:  Please e-mail the Selection Letter (beside the W.H.F.O. photograph that you are attempting to identify) along with your guess, name and e-mail address to farewelltypewriter@yahoo.com by the end of the closing date for that month’s guessing period (noted in the W.H.F.O. post for that month).  If you are the lucky at-home winner who properly identifies or, in case of no one 100% identifying an object, the closest identifier, I will contact you to obtain mailing address information to which your prize will be sent.  Good luck!



  Karen Harris wrote @

Well done Erin! Congratulations on POM too!

  Diana Evenson wrote @

Erin is actually being very kind. She forgot to mention the need for armor when opening the freezer. There was always room for more – even if there wasn’t; which made it a challenge to open the freezer door and jump out of the way to avoid a possible concussion, or worse. Who needs icecube trays when there is a 4-5″ buildup of frost/ice on the top and walls of the freezer? Now, where is that axe?

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